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While searching through my childhood dresser, I stumbled across some old poems that I had written back in the eighth grade. Some were okay and some were, well, “cute,”as my teacher put it. One thing is for sure, however, they shouldn’t be seen by human eyes.

But, this is how much I love you all. So, may I present to you for your viewing pleasure, a poem from the vault, as written by a 13-year-old Leroy Brumage.

Feyz almaq!


I am me,

And nobody else.

I love to play,

And dance and sing.

I love to read,

And nothing more.

I love to travel,

And swing and walk.

I love to sleep,

And eat and talk.

I love to run,

And nothing more.



*As a note, I seemed to be a very bland person. Dearest 13-year-old Leroy, you are a fucking loser! You love to “dance and sing?” What are you? A Riverdancer? A member of the chorus? Get out of here, douche! Go lift some weights or something! With love, your future and doofy self.*